The 3 Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself
Last month, I found a link to a video and short exercise that changed the way I envisioned my future. Led by Vishen Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley, the video showcases the difference between end goals versus means goals, then guides you through the process of answering the three most important questions you can ask yourself.
Many of my answers surprised me. I realized it was easy to envision my end goals (get out of debt, motivate others, have a family, etc.) but that means goals are the individual milestones that would help me achieve my end goals. It’s hard to imagine what your means goals will be, but answering those 3 questions gave me a few ideas of how I could start working towards my end goals.
Four weeks later, after deciding not to go Bold, finishing school, and aging another year, I decided to watch the video and answer the 3 questions again. Some of my answers were the same, some were new, and I would like to share the ones that stood out most to me with you.
1. What do I want to experience?
love, healthy relationship, partnership, passion, smile daily, hug often, laugh always, make change, inspire, gratitude, half marathon, triathlon, travel, pregnant, teach kids, give lessons, learn lessons, watch kids grow, watch brother and sister succeed and be happy in life
2. How do I want to grow?
lead, teach, ask for what I want, speak about my passion with no fear, take risks, motivate, trust people, trust words, trust the world, be positive, believe in myself, confidence, do, make mistakes, struggle, learn, personal finance, inspire people to be self aware and make positive changes, be inspired by others
3. What do I want to contribute to the planet?
be a role model, help others, empower people, volunteer more, teach kids, motivate kids, raise good kids, start public speaking, make a change, save, donate, live not for money but for experience, prove that happiness is a mindset, be open, be able, be good, pay it forward
I don’t want to say this exercise has rid me of the pattern of setting goals and sticking to them… but it has opened my mind to the fact that decisions I make in my everyday life are what will lead me to my end goals. And my end goals are pretty straight-forward: I want a career that allows me to motivate others. I want to build a happy, healthy family. And I want to lead by example, in all areas of my life.
I encourage you to take 13 minutes out of your day today, or one day soon, to answer these 3 questions for yourself. Make sure you are in an environment where you won’t be interrupted and with a pen that won’t run out. Don’t type. Write. It’s dirty, messy, and totally authentic. You don’t have to share your answers with me but I hope they shock and inspire you.
I’ve always taken a “means to an end” approach to everything that I’ve ever done in my life. It’s much easier to break things down into bite-size objectives where you can see and appreciate early achievable success in completion and which will then encourage you then to take on more challenging and rewarding goals. Whether it’s to pay regular steady payments, thereby reducing that high interest, on the way to eventually one day paying off that mortgage. Or taking courses over the years in the pursuit of a degree, leading to a rich and rewarding employment career. Or meeting various interesting people in life on your way to hopefully hooking up with your one true love for life. Everything in life is achievable if taken in steady bite size steps. At least the way I see it anyway, for what’s it worth…
I think this is great! I’m definitely going to try and find the time to sit down and do this in the next few days. I think that setting smaller goals that’ll get you to your bigger goals is really important, but I think the point you made about our day to day decisions influencing where we end up is what really hit home with me. I need to get better at making the right decision daily, and to stop backsliding into my old bad habits.
I have been really frustrated lately with my lack of sticking “to” things-my budget, writing as much/as often as I want. I realized it’s because I don’t have any goals-end or means or otherwise. This needs to change, and it feels like your post came at the perfect time for me. I will be trying this out!
great list.. I think I will sit down and answer these questions =)
Hi Cait,
I’ve been following your blog for awhile, which I found through other PF blogs. I have noticed that your blog seems to be going more in the motivational/self-improvement direction, which I think is great! Keep these thought provoking posts coming, please
Ooo I love this. I’m definitely going to do this. Great post!
“Don’t type. Write. It’s dirty, messy, and totally authentic” <—– This is awesome….I think the worst thing one can do when trying to motivate themselves is to just "think" the answer. Typing it at least gives you a visual, but actually writing it involves more effort, and is more likely to be etched into the brain, take hold, and make a difference. I'm a "gotta see it,touch it,feel it" kind of person…….if it's visual, it means something (at least to me!)
Nice one Cait. Every school should have this exercise and ask students these questions. How do I want to grow is probably the hardest one to answer for myself because there’s so many things I’m still uncertain about. Another question I often like is “what do I value most?”
All very important questions to ask oneself. I think in order for me to answer them I need to sit with a piece of paper and pencil and start jotting down what comes to mind, brainstorming. This is what works best for me. I still have the brainstorming sheet from the moment I decided to start Canadian Budget BInder. Funny how you can look back and say, I’m glad I did it! Cheers Mr.CBB