Looking for the Girl I Was Six Months Ago
Wednesday’s post was one of the scariest I’ve ever published. I didn’t finish it until 1am EST. Then I dreamt about it and woke up at 6:50am to change a few words before it went live at 7am. What I was so afraid of, I’m not exactly sure. Judgment? Maybe. Questions? Sure. But, based on a number of comments, I know I didn’t say everything I wanted to say.
Nothing about that post was meant to seem like I was being hard on myself. I don’t feel angry or upset with myself in anyway. The idea of living a sober life is something that’s been in the back of my mind for a couple of years now and, based on a number of events that occurred this past summer, I know that it’s something that needs to become my reality.
While I was writing Wednesday’s post, I kept going back to posts I had written when I was fundraising for the Bold Academy. My writing was so inspired then; full of passion, dreams, and goals. I knew what I wanted, for both myself and girls and women everywhere. And all it took was one person, a few bad nights, and way too many drinks to make me lose my focus.
My last post was meant to show the domino effect of how one bad habit can turn into a number of bad habits. Nothing more and nothing less. But I can tell you that, by finally being honest with myself, I already feel like I’m beginning to reverse the domino effect. I know it’s not as easy as that… but it’s a start. And I’m ready to be reunited with the girl I was six months ago.
Have a great weekend, xo