Change Ain’t Easy
Last night, I had a total breakdown. I’m talking a level-10-ball-my-eyes-out-and-sob-like-a-baby breakdown. It wasn’t pretty and I’m almost thankful that Roomie was out of town so she didn’t have to witness it. I don’t know what sparked it and I still don’t quite know where all of the tears came from. I do know that I have felt better ever since, but last night was not my finest moment…
I stayed up late and spent some time reflecting on what may or may not have caused it. I think it’s the simple fact that I feel like I’m stuck in limbo, waiting to start a life in Vancouver. Everyday, I think of new things I want to do when I get there – from getting a library card, to finding new beaches to hangout at, and new hikes and running routes to tackle – and it’s frustrating that I don’t know when any of it is actually going to happen. Yes, I’m flying home to Victoria on March 26th… but I don’t have an apartment to move into in Vancouver yet, or an official move date, and I don’t want to continue to be stuck in limbo in Victoria.
Of course, it wouldn’t be horrible to be in Victoria for the month of April, if I couldn’t find a place until May 1st; I would get to live with the family (and dogs!) I’ve missed, and I know I’d spend most of my spare time at the beaches, mountains, and gym with friends. But I would still be stuck, waiting for whatever is next. I’ve spent the last 6 months in Toronto, only to decide it’s not the place I want to “settle down” in. Now that I know where I want to be, I just want to get there! I want to move, setup my own place, and get into a new groove. I want to wake up on weekends and go out for early morning runs, and I want to make new friends and invite people over for dinner. I know it’ll all happen, I guess I just don’t want to wait…
So, I think that’s where half of my breakdown came from. The other half is a tricky subject but is something I know a number of personal finance bloggers go through at least once: I don’t think I want to write about money anymore. When I think about what I want the rest of 2013 to look like, other than paying off the remainder of my debt, I don’t really have enough financial goals to warrant maintaining a personal finance blog. The reason I started Blonde on a Budget was to keep myself accountable while I was paying off my debt. Not only has it helped me do that, it has also helped me build an incredibly supportive network of friends and followers. Heck, it even got me a job.
But I’m struggling to find interesting topics to write about. I am losing motivation by the fact that every topic has already been written about by everyone else. While I almost never receive negative comments on this blog, the community is still riddled with judgment. And, truth be told, I am just losing interest in it. Writing and maintaining a blog is something I think I will do for the rest of my life, but I think I’m done with the topic of personal finance. When my debt is paid off, there is a good chance I will stop writing Blonde on a Budget and start writing something else. I may change my mind… but I would say that my decision is about 80% final, meaning BoaB would see its last post in June.
I’m sorry to start the weekend with such a heavy post! But if there’s one thing I have learned about blogging, it’s that honest posts are the easiest ones to write… and this post only took me about 20 minutes to piece together. So, there you have it.
You should never do ANYTHING you’re heart isn’t in 100%. Feeling stressed about the direction your life is going in is totally normal especially when all your ducks aren’t lined up so-to-speak. You’re moving at a pretty good time though with university finishing up you’ll likely find something pretty quickly. It’s tough apartment hunting when you’re a few thousand km’s away.
Easier said than done, but try not to worry about the stuff that is out of your control right now b/c, as you found out last night, it will drive you crazy.
As for this blog changing, that’s cool- as long as you blog I personally don’t care that you talk about money! Look at Andrea, she changed her blog from strictly personal finance to more of a lifestyle blog and she followers maintain. Start a new lifestyle-esque blog and begin with your adventures about moving to Vancouver.
Finally- BREATH and please try and get some sleep tonight. Maybe even a nap will be in order
I’m sure I’ll find something as soon as I take a trip over to Vancouver, but it’s just the waiting that’s hard. I think I’m also going a bit stir crazy from being busy/holed up inside, during the winter months here…
I will absolutely continue to blog, no matter what may change here and/or if I start something new. Thanks for your comments, Catherine!
I exactly how you feel, because as you said, many (if not all) PF bloggers at some point have the feeling of “I don’t want to write about money any more – besides it’s all been written about 100 times over.” Which is true. But here’s the thing – for people trying to get out of debt, and for those desperately trying to get and maintain a handle on their finances, they NEED to hear it over and over and over again. I’ve heard a thousand get of out of debt success stories – and I’ll read a thousand more because I love them. They motivate me – it doesn’t matter that I’ve heard them before. Each one is just a little different because the perspective is different. We all recently got through the Holiday season. Every PF blogger wrote at least one post about handling finances during the holidays, right? When Holiday season 2013 rolls around, every PF blogger will again write about handling finances during the Holidays. Why? It’s all been written before, right? Sure…..but people looking for help, guidance and motivation NEED to hear it again.
It’s not about new and fresh ideas (although if you come up with one, more power to you) – it’s about YOUR journey. It’s about your perspective of what’s going on with YOU right now. Because if it’s happening to you, most likely something similar has happened, is happening, or will happen to some portion of your fan base.
A blog is YOUR story. And even if you go through many of the same situations as others, YOUR story and perspective will be unique.
Just my 2 cents anyway. Happy weekend, Friend.
Thank you, friend. I’m glad to hear you don’t have to travel for work this week. Hope that means you guys are having an extra happy weekend.
Why don’t you line up some guest bloggers and take a week off? During that week relax, meditate, and figure out your direction. Quite honestly, I love all types of blogs: food, fashion, travel, so if you change your blog focus I will continue reading
Good luck with your journey and make sure you are “selfish” about having passion for what you do.
I love every part of this comment. Thank you, Michelle.
And believe me, I don’t always want to READ about money on PF blogs! I swear sometimes I’m like, “if I read ONE more post about why getting out debt is important, or five tips for saving, I’m going to shoot myself!” Sometimes it’s nice to read the day to day ramblings of bloggers, so feel free to GO THERE and I swear you will still have readers, then if money stuff comes up, you still have this place to call home.
As far as the other stuff you’re going through, it’s perfectly OK and reasonable under the circumstances. Just think one year from now that moment won’t even matter, because you will be settled. This is just a blip on the giant radar of life.
I’m going to use that: thinking ahead to one year from now. Thanks, T
Instead of focusing on everything that you will need to do to get set up in Vancouver, why don’t you focus in hanging out with friends and doing everything you can in Toronto? You will have plenty of time to get an apartment.
I think every PF blogger gets sick of writing about money. Not all of my posts have to do with money anymore but it is a topic that I keep coming back to because I really like it. I don’t think many PF bloggers have original thoughts but its the personal part of finances that keep it interesting.
I don’t *really* have plenty of time, as I was hoping to move over on April 1st. Yes, I have the luxury of being able to live at home while I look, but the point of this move is to get setup and start something new – not sit around at home in Victoria. Anyway, it’ll all come together when it’s supposed to. Thanks for your comment.
I’m going to have to agree with Travis but just know that whatever you decide I’m sure your fans will be behind you 100%. Just because your blog says you are on a budget doesn’t mean you have to write about money non-stop, after all it is your blog. It could be Blonde on a Budget A Journey Through My Life… Keep smiling mate… you’ll sort it all, whatever makes you happy
Cheers
Well, I think I’ll always be on a budget… I just may stop writing about them at some point, haha. Thanks, Mr. CBB.
Out of all the PF blogs I read, yours is at the top of my list. I’ve always appreciated that you didn’t fall into the same patterns as other bloggers, coming out with boring ass list posts, putting a billion ads up when you started to become popular, accepting guest posts… Blah. I enjoy the story you’ve told. Sometimes I learn something I didn’t know about finance, but that’s not why I return to your blog. I like your writing voice.
So I hope you still keep a public blog after June. With or without a “theme”, you’re a great writer!
That is one of the most thoughtful comments I have received in a while. I promised myself I would never cover BoaB in ads (especially for credit cards) but that was a more of a moral issue and not something I thought anyone would notice.
No matter what I write, or where, it will always be public. Thanks for reading, Melissa!
Awww sweetie, I am sorry for your meltdown. I have had a few recently myself. Your mind is trying to tell yourself something, you may not be sure about it quite yet.
Do what is right for you…I love your blog, but you have built up a community that people are willing to listen regardless of the topic. Stay positive and keep working through it!
It’s all good. Two days later and I feel like a whole new person. I just had to ask myself some tough questions and make some decisions about which direction I want to go in next. Thanks for your comment!
Don’t go wishing your life away – bloom where you are planted. (hug)
Also, it doesn’t matter if you give up writing about PF. Everyone here loves Cait, not the material.
<3
I say, if you don’t want to write about personal finance, you definitely shouldn’t. That said, I would be lying if I didn’t say I would be very sad if you stopped writing entirely.
Whatever you do, we’ll support you! It’s your writing I like, and if you switch topics, I’ll like the new one just the same.
I will never stop writing… but there is definitely an end date for BoaB.
Thanks, Jordann.
Of course I went thru this same thing!
. I got so tired of pf and, like u said, it’s all been written before.
However, if I had to do it all over again, I would have never moved on from my old blog. People knew me there and that’s priceless. I would have taken the route My Pretty Pennies has and just transitioned into lifestyle topics. Plus, your blog name is pretty spot on for your life no matter what you talk about-Wont you always do it on a budget?
Anyways, I can definitely relate…that’s just my 2 cents!
I seriously appreciate you sharing your experiences, Amber! I have thought about how my blog name could really go with me anywhere… but what I want to write about next is so much different than what I do here. I want to start fresh with something completely different. I will just have to hope that some readers pop on over to the new site, when I make the transition.
I hear ya on finding things and the motivation to write. I am fantastic at spewing out ideas, but when it comes to actually writing out a full post beyond the title, I start to struggle. However, sometimes I go on a blitz and can pound out 3 or 4 posts in under two hours. Those are the best times. I like blogging the best when I have two to three weeks scheduled ahead. It doesn’t feel like a chore that way, and it often does when I don’t have things scheduled.
I have never found enough time to schedule posts that far in advance, but it sounds wonderful, haha.
Sad to read that you were sad and that you are close to done with BoaB, but I am looking forward to whatever else you end up writing! Being in a limbo does stink.
Sure does! But I don’t think I’m there anymore… thanks, Sofia.
I went through the same thing– my first blog “What pink sounds like,” was a blog I started all about celebrating women in music… at the time I was hosting a show at CiTR UBC’s campus station and my on-air show as about exactly that… but after some time I got tired of writing about music… I quickly realized I don’t have the motivation to become some awesome Rolling Stones journalist and had to let it go, even though at the time I felt like it was a part of my identity. I started ashly & monkey so I would have the flexibility to do more creative writing and enjoy it much more! If you ever do wish to have a guest post on your blog when you’re going through another bout of writer’s block– let me know… I may be able to shine a funny light on how to merge money together when you start living with someone! Only if you’re interested…
Either way, I agree.. don’t stop blogging!
Sounds like it was a cool blog! But I’m happy to hear that starting a new one was still the right decision for you, as I’m definitely a bit apprehensive about leaving this one to do the same.
Instead of guest posting, I’m actually thinking of doing some interviews before I finish up here. I’ll email you, to see if you’re interested.
There is no point in blogging just for the sake of blogging. Write about what inspires you. Write about what you are passionate about.
I read the blog bloggingawaydebt.com (I’m sure you know it) and they switch bloggers every time someone has finished paying off their debt. This makes sense as the bloggers are obviously more motivated to write about personal finance and debt when they are battling through it.
I hope your new life in Vancouver is awesome and I’ll follow whatever you choose to blog about!
Hey Cait!
I paid off a large student loan about a year and a half ago and found myself in a situation it sounds like you’re about to be in:
Having a lot of extra money left over and no idea what to do with it.
I haven’t been reading your blog for long but have you started to think about investment strategies and a larger financial plan?
The more I read, the more I realize I don’t know.
I’m glad I stumbled upon the “Financial Webring Forum” and associated Canadian Financial Wiki, “Finiki” and recommend any Canadian interested in managing their money take a look at them.
While not in debt anymore, I find it healthy to think like I am in debt to my future self – I have to save now to fund the life of my future self.
Some books I’d recommend (first two available as ebooks)…
“Millionaire Teacher” by Andrew Hallam
“The MoneySense Guide to the Perfect Portfolio” – how to DIY your own investments.
“The Naked Investor” (a cautionary tale about not letting the Canadian financial industry take you to the cleaners)
Best regards,
CJ
Hey Cait,
I know exactly what you went through. I’m a money coach and financial planner and have been doing this for over 20 years. I have meltdowns too, mostly on behalf of my clients. Because getting out of debt is super hard. It may not take long to get in debt but it seems like forever to get out of it. And it can be all consuming. Especially for you because you have opened yourself and your journey up to the world. Pretty brave if you ask me. Keep writing about what you feel and your followers will continue to follow. But please keep letting us know how “getting out of debt” is going. Just like a diet, the last 20% is the hardest and you are such an inspiration to people. And just as an aside, when you were describing all the activities you were going to do with people in Victoria, did you notice that most of them were free? Would this have been your bahaviour before you started “Blonde on a Budget”? You should be very proud of yourself. I’m in it til you win it
Cait! I can’t wait to see where your journey leads you next. I agree with the others that probably all PF bloggers get tired of writing about (and constantly thinking about) money at one point or another, but I also think it can be your gut telling you that it’s time to pursue something new. I can’t wait to see what you do next because I know you’ll succeed at whatever you put your mind – and heart – to.
Oh my gosh, just when I’ve discovered your blog this week, I now read this one, saying that you’ll be done with it soon, lol. I first have to say that I soaked up every word because that is kind of how my life is feeling now. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one that feels like their life is on hold. While I’m in school, I feel like I can’t do anything productive towards my financial goals. Heck, I haven’t even been able to find a job, let alone be able to live on my own. But I wish you the best this year. I hope your move goes smoothly! If you discontinue blogging on here, I do hope that the blog will still be up so that your posts are still accessible.