Tough Questions and Easy Answers
Well, Saturday’s post was a little intense, eh? The feedback I got from it was really mixed: a couple of people emailed me immediately saying they had been going through similar situations, some of you left incredibly supportive comments, and others told me I came across as weak. The weak comment hurt at first but, truthfully, I was in a really weak moment when I wrote that post. And while I always appreciate hearing that blog posts or my story in general has inspired someone, the debt repayment journey is not easy – especially after 20 months of living on a budget and writing about it as publicly as I do.
There is a reason Gail Vaz-Oxlade encourages people to pay off all of their debt within 3 years – anything longer than that can cause debt fatigue, which could result in going back to old (and very bad) spending habits. Even though I trust that I will never go back to being the frivolous spender I once was, I have definitely gone through a few spats of debt fatigue. I could blame my Friday night sob fest on that but that’s really only part of why I was feeling down last week; the rest comes from what I wrote, as well as the fact that I’m a little lonely here in Toronto. Monday-Friday, I’m out of the house for 12 hours/day with work and my commute, and then I spend a good chunk of my weekend’s writing. That leaves me with very little time to go out and socialize, not that my budget gives me much allowance for that anyway.
So, in response to how I felt on Friday night, I decided to ask myself some tough questions:
What can I cut out of my schedule to give myself more free time?
Blogging and freelancing are the only two things that take up my spare time. As it stands, I’m spending an average of 12-15 hours/week doing both; that may not sound like much but it feels like a lot right now. Since I don’t plan on giving up blogging, freelancing and guest posting are two things I’m going to put on hold for the next couple of months. The extra money is nice but my time is more valuable to me right now.
What do I enjoy doing the most?
I love blogging but lately it has started to feel like a chore. I don’t know if that’s because I “feel” as though I should write a certain way, or about particular topics, but most of the posts I’ve published lately have been tough to finish. The only two posts that I’ve enjoyed writing recently were also the scariest to publish! The first was about my move, the second was obviously Friday’s, and neither of them were about money. Hmm.
What are my priorities?
Paying off the last of my debt is still my #1 priority, and my debt repayment journey will always be something I identify with. But now that I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can’t help but think about what’s next. A new city, new activities, new friends, new opportunities… and yes, even a new budget. I want to explore and challenge myself and try new things. I don’t want to post weekly spending reports.
So, where does this leave me? First, you should know that answering these questions and making some decisions has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. The only person who controls how you feel is you and, if you’re ever feeling overwhelmed, I would suggest laying everything on the table and reevaluating your priorities. Much like the day I first laid all of my finances out on the table, I now know what I need to do.
Going forward, the only posts I’m going to publish on this blog will be about topics I feel passionate about. I will still write a monthly budget, as well as a recap of how I did, but the weekly spending reports are as good as dead. I’m done feeling guilty about drinking Starbucks twice/week or eating out once/week. I’m happy to share my budgets but how I spend every individual dollar is my business and mine alone.
I will continue to answers questions in the Blonde Money Questions vlog series, reply to comments, emails and tweets as soon as I can, and share the ups and downs of being on a budget – all of those things, I do enjoy. I have always wanted this blog to be a space that inspires people to take control of their finances… but if I don’t feel inspired, how can any of you? Well then, let’s get back to it. : )
Have you ever felt like you had too much on your plate? What did you do about it?
Image: Molly Jacques Illustration
“Have you ever felt like you had too much on your plate?”
Yes Cait, many times over the years, many times … It happens to us all.
Here’s what I’ve done to get around these difficult times – look for balance in my life. Here’s the thing: if you run a machine too hard and too long, without stopping and giving it some proper down time maintenance, it will eventually burn out. Now we humans are not machines as such but the idea still applies. Everything has to be in moderation and balance in one’s life.
One can not focus one’s life too much on any one activity. We all need variety. Over the years I’ve seen others stop blogging from “blog burnout”. They needed a break from blogging, if not completely then at least from the sole topic of their blog (which in your case is debt reduction). The topics to discuss on any one subject run dry eventually.
I read many other PF blogs. Not all of them deal with only one topic, although many (like yours) do. However, some of them also touch on other various non-related topics from time to time, just related to living in general.
Look at it this way. If you were chatting with all of us readers every day face to face, instead of over the net here, would you be yacking only about debt reduction? Me-thinks not. Instead you and we all would be babbling on about a whole variety of topics – some general, perhaps some a little more personal – whatever came to mind. As well, again with balance here, you might not chat with face to face friends “every” day of the week but rather when you had some free time. After all, you are a busy person.
That all said, and again thinking about balance again, you have to think more about balancing your net time with your off-net socializing time. You had a social support system established in Vancouver because that was where you grew up. Sadly, moving to my Toronto (during the dead of winter) has not allowed you enough time to set up a new social support system, what with taking on a new job and all. Sometimes winter is deadly for socializing. People don’t get outside as much – and not all of us are Leaf hockey fans!
Anyway, enough babbling from me this morning. Hope my words help you a bit. Recently I’ve been MIA for awhile. It’s nice to be back healthy again and reading your words. Stay happy.
I don’t talk to “real-life” friends about money ever, unless they come to me about it. That was a great visualization, thanks Rob.
Sometimes I definitely feel like I have a lot going on. I’m still dealing with my mother issues and I’ve been thinking about going to therapy for everything that happened with my dad since I never did. And then of course I have my full-time job (and they still think my dad is alive so that just adds to the stress) and all of my side hustles. I had a little break down the other day. It’s hard but you need to do what’s right for you. Don’t do things just to make others happy all the time.
Thanks, Michelle. And it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I’m here to chat, if you ever need to. I know it’s not easy keeping secrets and balancing everything else on top of it.
I have always had the urge to bite off more then I could chew, even as a kid. So I understand where you’re coming from. I’m going to miss your posts but the most important thing is that you take care of yourself. If that means dumping an obligation that you are no longer enjoying that that is what needs to be done. Best of luck!
Well, I’m not going anywhere yet… just needed to take a step back and remember why I was writing in the first place.
When I was paying down my $50K in debt back in 2008 I had a lot of bad days. You let out a good cry and move on to another day. Hang in there!
Thanks, Kasey! And congrats on paying down that much debt!
Sometimes I just wish we could get a bigger plate instead of trying to figure out what things from life’s buffet we’ll have to pass on. There’s simply not enough minutes in the day for everything Joanna and I are trying to accomplish right now.
It sounds like you’re back in the driver’s seat of life now, so congrats to you for starting the tough process of getting priorities in check. Looking forward to following your journey and trying out new topics you feel more passionate about.
YES! Why aren’t there 30 hours in a day or 8 days in a week, Johnny!? That would make things a lot easier, right now.
Thanks for your comment. Loved your guys’ post today, BTW!
You do have a lot on your plate and its very easy to feel overwhelmed. You need to focus on yourself right now. You may have had a weak moment but that doesn’t mean you are weak. Looking forward to seeing the direction your blog takes.
Thanks, ND!
Good for you Cait. It’s your blog, write about whatever you want. Just because we have the word “budget” in our blog name doesn’t mean it’s all about budgets. I look at it this way….. money is a big part of most people’s lives and every category in the budget tells a story.. whether it’s life, insurance, holidays, entertainment, hobbies, investing, relationships, day care, misc, savings, food, etc etc… so budgeting is just the book but when you open it.. it’s all about LIFE… so write about what you fancy.. and enjoy it. Don’t feel pressure or stress, feel strength, motivation and desire to grasp what you as an individual want to do with your life. We only get to do this once Cait… so don’t fall down, get up and dance! Feel the wind on your face and the music in your voice and sing. You’re worth it. Cheers
Thanks, Mr. CBB! I think I will dance
“Going forward, the only posts I’m going to publish on this blog will be about topics I feel passionate about.” AMEN. You can still be the blonde on a budget while writing about just anything that you think of.
You got that right, lady!
Cait, I found your blog a few months ago while going through my own financial problems, and I relate to you so so much. My blog is about film/entertainment, but I often find myself straying from my subject matter and writing about what I feel passionate about at that time. You should never be afraid to switch things up. Your blog should be a reflection of your own personal interests, and I will still gladly read about your adventures, challenges and triumphs with great interest and empathy. Never be afraid to think outside the box! Sometimes breakdowns of emotion like that are just an indication that you need a change, or are feeling stuck, and I think you’re so brave to admit that you need a change. The honesty in your blog is what keeps people coming, your story is what interests me as a reader. I decided to stop being a lurker and finally comment because I wanted you to know how much I love reading what you write, no matter what the topic!
Keep up the great work, and good luck with your move!
Kate
I LOVE that you finally commented, Kate – thank you for taking the time to do so! It is so nice to hear from new people and thank you for being so supportive. I do think BoaB’s days are numbered but I’ve setup a new blog that I am really excited to launch. I’ll write here until my debt is gone (June) but then hope to switch over to the new blog after that. Thanks again for your comment!
I have definitely been feeling like I have too much on my plate lately, and my solution has been to eliminate some things and restructure others to make them more enjoyable.
We all go through those periods, it’s great that you haven’t let it be an excuse to stop writing, start spending, and stop exercising. Instead, you’re mindful of it, and you’re monitoring the situation. That’s very self aware of you!
Thanks, Jordann! I think it’s easy to say “yes” to too many things, without realizing that it could be too much. I think my time has been maxed out for a long, long time and I just finally needed to do something about it.
Follow your gut! Best and simplest advice ever. Whatever you do will be amazing
by the way, love the new blog backdrop! It kind of ushers in the new tone to the blog!!
Yay! I’m happy you like it
I’m drinking a Starbucks Latte with you right now. Ummmm, yummy! I’m not feeling any guilt about it, are you?
Haha, nope!
I hear you. I’m not sure if it’s the weather, or stress, but I’ve felt overwhelmed the last little while as well. I haven’t been able to muster up the energy to really go at my blog like I should.
I agree with Ashley – go with your gut. You’ve got a real talent for writing, so whatever you decide to write, it will be great!
Thanks for your support, CG. And I hope the weather clears up, so we both get our focus back!
Blogging became a burden to me a few months back… I hit a wall.
I had committed to guest posting and freelancing and realised that this is not what I wanted to do – I started blogging to have my own voice and write about what I wanted to, not to meet deadlines and write someone else’s topics.
I took a step back and concentrated on SavvyScot and my life – I now LOVE it all over again!
Yes! All of this exactly! I took on so much that it started to feel like work, which took away all the fun. Thanks for sharing what worked for you, Scot! So far, doing the same has helped me too…